Where am I?

I've reached a point where I want to distance myself yet become closer to people at the same time. I see my life moving in a good direction - good people that I can rely on are slowly forming and becoming a part of my life. However, at the same time, I want to distance myself from everyone and everything because I am absolutely petrified of getting hurt again.

This, as it often does, has resulted in me starting to isolate some of the wrong people, and grow closer to the even more obscenely wrong people. At the same time, when you distance yourself, you also see who pushes themselves closer, and who doesn't even bother to say a word.

So I am not able to say if whether how I am is good or bad. I guess I'm kind of just here, observing my own life and trying to participate in it in more positive ways. I'm making progress, to say the least. But I feel as if there is going to be some casualties in the friend department regarding some. I'm not sure whether to care or not at this point. I'm sick of being used and walked all over. And manipulated. I think being manipulated is the absolute worst of them all.

Anyway, it's a snowy morning and I'm cold. I think I'm going to head back to the bed. Even if I don't sleep, I think I'll do some reading.